Embracing a slower pace
Once again I find myself close to the weekend. It is Thursday evening and I am reflecting on the past long weekend. In my last two posts I discussed embracing what you can do and embracing home. Both of these are predicated on slowing down, embracing a slower pace.
This past weekend was a mix of doing some fun things, resting, normal routine activities, and a little work. In my journey with my illness I have learned to embrace a slower pace. In the past a long weekend would have been mostly doing fun things (which is great of course), normal routine activities, work, and only a little rest.
Over the long holiday weekend I found I had more pleasure and more importantly, more connection with those I love the most. We spent great family time together, my husband and I got to spend some lovely time together, I got done what I needed to, and we all rested.
Over the last several months I had to learn how to embrace a slower pace out of necessity, which is not necessarily my natural state. Being forced to slow down prompted some serious self reflection as to why I was always going, and required me to listen to my loved ones more closely about what they really needed from me. My fast pace, in part, was running away from the things I didn’t want to work as hard on, especially in my relationships. Being a wife and a mom is full time, sometimes difficult job, and being on the go allowed me to focus a little more on the easier parts of those jobs. I faced the more challenging parts when I really stopped, listened, and looked around. Now I am working hard on being fully present to my loved ones, intentional in my thoughts, words, and actions, and more loving through it all. I fail and fall daily but my slower pace allows me to see those falls and work to correct them more quickly and thoroughly. Family life as a whole, and each of the unique and precious relationships within the family, requires time, attention, and care that simply isn’t available to give when we are going too fast.
If you are going too fast, if you are running away from some things you don’t want to face, try slowing down. That might mean cutting out one activity or commitment. Slowing down might mean carving out time for prayer and meditation. You know what would help you slow down. If you are struggling to slow down on your own, talk with your family and work together to make it happen for all of you. If it seems impossible to slow down but some part of you knows you must, for your own sake and for the sake of your family, talk to someone. I am a marriage and family therapist who helps couples who want to slow down and take care of their marriage and family in a different, more intentional way, and I work with women, wives, moms, and single women, who know they are running too fast and would like to stop.
Have a lovely weekend!